As I hold your hand let me tell you a story, forget just for a moment about your cloud and your pain.
Close your eyes and take a breath.
Once upon a time there was a little girl who was happy, vibrant and beautiful. She was that girl who you stopped and stared at in the street because she seemed too radiant for miles. She had such a kind soul and gave to everybody it was just who she was, as much as she radiated not everyone could see her glow. She longed for her Fathers approval, acknowledgment and love but to no avail. Soon as her world started to collapse all around her glow soon become a cloud, not a dark cloud but more fear. As she began to realise that life was not always rosy and that people were not always rosy.
It takes a village to raise a child
Her village was full of lovely people who made her feel great and people who used abuse women and beat them up until they question life and love. When she couldn’t take the pain any more she left to create her own journey and hopefully find that little piece of happiness she once had, after all she was just 17.
She had a plan, a plan of a vibrant colourful life filled with fame and fortune but there was still a lesson to be learnt. Drugs, alcohol and violent men engulfed her life and she soon becomes a victim of bruises, blood and abuse. It was a dark cloud and she was all alone, she couldn’t get out and she had no one to turn too. By day she could manage successful businesses but at night she feared her life and everyone’s around her. She had three jobs just because it was the only time she felt in control, confident and needed. She tried to leave but every time she tried there would be more punches thrown and words of death. She is a kind soul she didn’t want anyone to die…so she stayed. Until one day she didn’t….she couldn’t…she nearly died she probably should have died but the universe had other ideas for this girl.
At 21 years old with no money, no where to go and scars that don’t go away she left.
She is me and I am what I am and I will be all I can be
Sometimes it’s easy to forget the dark cloud and how hard it is to get out of it. I don’t know why that was the day that I left because to be honest there were worse bruises and more severe pain even a near death attack. But that day I summoned every ounce of strength that I had and I walked out. I left all of my things and all of my money and I left. Alone and in debt and I would love to say that I couldn’t have been happy or I have never looked back.
That moment I wasn’t happy I was scared, I was so scared… I was scared he would come after me and kill me and I was scared that he would kill himself and I was scared because I had no idea what I was going to do next.
What did I do?
I took a hand
There are so many people out there that can help us and people are actually really understanding once you actually tell some one but that is the key to tell some one.
I would love to say that I never looked back but I would be lying.
Very touching and at the same time I love the concept of the village of hands – and I agree all you need to do is reach out and grab hold. There can never be a *right time* to do this, strength comes from within a person and that strength will happen when it is right for that particular person on that particular day – whenever that happens to be.
Hey Michelle,
Thank you, I liked the village of hands as I do believe people offer the hands however we often don’t realise it at the time. I agree there is never a right time to anything you just have to do and listen 🙂
Rx
Even in my darkest times, there was always SOMEONE to help.
Mostly. I got that *I* could be the one that made that happen … to tell, to ask for help, to talk to … you are stronger than you realise you are … especially when you are there …
That’s it Amanda isn’t it, its easy NOW to say that however in that moment not so much 🙂 If we plant the seed hopefully it will others 🙂
Rx