My thoughts are scrambled and I feel like I can’t breathe, with so much going on, but not having the space or the time process it. My chest feels heavy and my frustration levels are at an all time high. I snap at the kids, but deep down I know I am not angry at them, but they are closest things to me and they are just there. My choice.
I don’t like the way I feel and I do not like the way I am treating others. It’s not me and it’s not fair. Then there is that part of me that stops and thinks, most people are living this every day and I can understand why 70% of women are on anti depressants.
When you get used to feeling deep and pure love for everything and you trust the process of life, while living with pure authenticity this other feeling is horrible and unwelcome. However, I am grateful that it only lasts a short while, because I know what I have to do to be free from it.
I need to feel my feet on the floor and breathe deep, in and out. I did Yoga. I walked in teary eyed, feeling lost and on the brink. I walked out feeling pure love, open and free. I felt the wind on my face and ten foot taller. I am back.
When you are present and aware of your thoughts, feeling your way instead of thinking your way does not always come easy. We need to constantly work at it, as life throws us some curve balls and situations that challenge us. We then need to realign ourselves.
I know with my recent challenge, there is a message and a lesson I have to learn. I don’t know what it is yet but I am ready, open and listening for the answer. I know it will come at the perfect time and space sequence. Until then I will do what I have to do to ensure I remain present and open.
Life has brought me I bog challenge, therefore I feel I must take extra time to remain within, and so here is what I am going to do.
- Wake up ½ hour earlier to meditate, then do focused writing and set my intention for the day.
- Exercise everyday
- Do short meditations throughout the day for a personal ‘check in’ and realignment.
Sounds like a brilliant plan, Renee.
And remember, you have people around you who are here for you xox
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