Friday, January 19th, 2018

Do Want To Change Your Partner


Often with our love ones we try and change them then get frustrated and angry because “they can be so much more”. Women are notorious for this…me included.

Let me tell you a story

A young gorgeous and glamorous…princess let’s call her Renee 🙂 met a young man who was funny, charming and handsome with a hint of troublesome. Now she knew going into this that it may turn out to be a wild ride but the funny and charming attributes intrigued her more. His free spirit and sense of adventure was fun for a while until she realised there is no future in free and adventurous so she would have to change that. Renee thought if she could just nurture him and bring out all of his natural talents (what she deemed to be his good side) then they would be OK. But free spirits have to be free and get angry when they aren’t so things pretty soon became extremely ugly and violent. Now the violence isn’t about this story it’s about excepting people for who they are.

It did have a happy ending because it ended and Renee is living happily ever after and she prays he is as well.

Fast forward a couple of years Renee a slightly damaged princess moved on and met the man of her dreams he was everything she ever wanted and more. They had the love she had only read about and thought it wasn’t possible in real life. He was smart, incredibly handsome, selfless, gentle, loving, giving, trusting and so funny they would laugh for hours. In fact within five minutes of knowing him it was like they had been together forever. Like every relationship they were on a roll a coaster that was full of ups and downs. There was always love and lots of it.

When they first met and for the years that would follow Renee would not even dream of changing one single thing about him because he was perfect. But over time that urge of wanting to change him swept over her because “He was capable of so much more.” She began to see the things he didn’t do and what they didn’t have then blamed him for not taking action and thriving for more. Now there is still love in this equation and lots of it….it’s because she loves him. That is the reason for wanting him to change…she just wants what is best for him.

Cracks began to surface not in an obvious way, in fact their closest friends and family would never have known and truth be told they didn’t know… until she seen the light.

A light although dim was shining within and that light would reignite the old love but also a new love…..a new respect.

The realisation that I am the truth, I am within me and within you, I am here.

My mind was communicating not my heart and body. I began to listen and rather then just have a body I was going to be my body. Think not with my head but my entire body.

I realised it was my ego who wanted him to change not my heart. I underestimated us and our love. I underestimated him. I seen “other” couples who were working together to create their empires and doing amazing things. They were taking risks and both as ambitious as each other and I thought we should do the same. I thought he would hold me back because he would never be that ambitious.

I was wrong

My heart is now in charge so I see it… crystal clear.

He has been there by my side every step of the way encouraging me, guiding me, helping me and loving me. Why would I want to change this incredible man?

For the first time I noticed everything he does do and want, then I live in that space instead of what he doesn’t do. There is no blame just a road that we take everyday and I wouldn’t change that for the world.

I know that every woman who reads this knows what I am talking about and it maybe a good time to stop and think about your relationship, remember why you love your partner then live and love in that space.

What is your story?


6 Responses to “Do Want To Change Your Partner”
  1. Chris Owen says:

    Well said!
    This is what I help people to achieve in practice so thanks for inspiring and motivating your readers along this path!
    Love C

    • bustingout says:

      Thanks Chris!

      You know I actually thought of you when I was writing it, thinking it has to be a common problem 🙂 Rx

  2. Jacinta says:

    Right now i can’t tell you how true this is, for years i have made this mistake and it’s only now that i realise i am actually the one who needs to change, my expectations, my demands and my behaviour.

    • bustingout says:

      A GREAT realisation Jacinta and a massive breakthrough so well done it will make a huge difference to your relationship. YAY to us for seeing the light Rx

  3. Darlene says:

    Exactly what I needed to read right now. For the last few months, I’ve really been going down the road you describe of wanting him to change for his/our good. Time to accept who he is and be who I am.

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