How To Find The “One”

6 Steps to Creating Your Love Affair!

Guest- Susan Santoro Whether you are single or in a relationship this is gold!

Have you ever wondered what it takes to find the love of your life?
Is it your dream to find a life partner who will cherish, love and adore you?

Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible. It cannot be seen or measured. Yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment. And offers you more joy than any material possessions ever could. There may be no other word that is so loaded with meaning, emotion, opinion, fear, heartbreak, joy or ecstasy. Yet, in the human experience there is also nothing more important. We can have amazing children, a great job, healthy body, financial abundance and spirituality- and yet, without someone to share it all with, our lives have less meaning and fulfilment.

Experiencing a deep, profound love allows you to revolutionise every aspect of your life.

At Life by Creation we believe that in order to create and experience an extraordinary, tremendous, fulfilling relationship, you must first work on being the one- to find the one.

Creating the relationship that will transform your life may not just ‘happen’- but inside of you, right in this very moment, you do have the power to find, create, and reconnect with the love of a lifetime.

You have to overcome your fears, be more aware of who you are at your true core, and master the skills and disciplines that will transform your existing relationships-, your future relationships – and your entire life.
Step 1: Letting Go

Take a moment to think about a past relationship where you really, really hoped that they were the “one.” It can be really digging deep into your past, or perhaps as early as this year. Ok- once you can get past the visuals and giggles of the old hairstyle you were sporting- and memories of that old flame… I’ll bet you are now happy that your wishes for him to ‘be the one’ didn’t come true. Sometimes we have to let go of what we think we want or need- in order to let the divine timing of the Universe work in our favour. Let’s face it; we can’t control anything in life except our own thoughts, feelings and emotions. Although I do admit- sometimes it would be nice to!
I have found that the key to letting go – is to trust that I can be clear about everything I want (love, happiness, fulfilment) without having to be obsessive about it. Let go of your need to be the boss of the Universe, let go of the past, and live in gratitude for the love and happiness that you have in your life right now, trusting that more is on the way.
Step 2: It’s about coming home

One of the best things about sharing your life with your soul mate is having a life filled with unconditional love. Soul mates are often each other’s best friend and as such the relationship becomes a “place to come home to’ when life becomes difficult or stressful or scary. This “place to come home to” is both a physical place in your home as well as an emotional space in the relationship.

While you are in the process of becoming a magnet for love, create a physical space in your home right now that is your emotional ‘place to come home to’. It can be as simple as your favourite chair in the bedroom, relaxing in your bathtub or a new loveseat under a tree in your backyard. Use this space on a daily basis to focus your attention on your intention for attracting your ‘Love Affair’ to you.

On the emotional side, have a think about whether you are ready to create this space for your Love Affair to happen right now. Remember, the process of manifesting a soul mate is one of making space for him on all levels of your being and in all areas of your life.

Step 3: We get what we focus on
Do you know that more people put more time and energy into planning their next holiday than they do planning their life? Think about the last time you researched your holiday or recent travels. Chances are, you probably knew before you went to the Travel Agent that you wanted the holiday to be tropical, or adventure filled, or Cultural with sightseeing, right? And, you may even have had a budget in mind. And, I’ll bet that once you spent some time searching for that particular type of holiday- that you eventually found the perfect destination.

You were able to manifest your holiday because you had a clear vision of what you were looking for. Manifesting a soul mate can be nearly as effortless if you first have a clear vision of what he or she will be like.
First begin with the physical traits and make a specific list that includes age range, height/weight range and appearance.
Next, begin to list the qualities of the personality that most appeals to you. Finally, and most importantly, add to this list descriptions of how you will feel in this relationship. Take a moment to close your eyes and imagine how you feel as you are walking through life with this special person. Do you feel love, cherished and adored? Do you feel connected, trusting, joyful and serene? Breathe into these feelings while visualizing your new life with your soul mate.

Step 4: Making way for the new

Ever notice that right after you spring clean your wardrobe you find yourself shopping for new clothes?

In order to attract your dream man- your Love Affair- you must create positive space in your life. It is now time to clear out the old relationships. Obviously if you are dating someone or in a relationship that’s not working, it’s time to cleanly and responsibly end it. For those of you who are single, look and see who you might be still be hooked on and find a way to move on. And, for those of you who are totally free and ready to commit BUT are still having casual sex with the neighbour, the ex-lover or whoever you meet out on a Sat night…it’s time to let that go as well. By focusing all of your energy – sexual and otherwise – on manifesting your ideal mate you will send the Universe a clear message that you are ready and there is nothing and no other ‘body’ standing in the way.

Step 5: Harnessing the Power of Masculine and Feminine Energy

I absolutely love the saying- Opposites attract. I use this saying with my clients at least 10 times a day!
In science, the attraction of opposites is called polarity. In human relationships, many types of polarity also exist- we are attracted to those things in people which are different to what we find in ourselves; they stimulate emotions and sensations that are different from the way we stimulate ourselves. In romantic intimacy, polarity refers to the play between opposite energies- the masculine and the feminine. They are responsible for sexual attraction and passion.
Do you have a role model for polarity in romance? Who is your ideal couple? The old saying “if I can see it I can believe it,” is valid because for most people, as “seeing is believing.” If there isn’t a couple in your life that demonstrates the type of Love Affair you plan to have, then identify a couple you don’t know to focus on. My favourite couple are Noah and Allie from the movie The Notebook. It’s a sentimental movie for me that really touches my heart and reminds me of what it was like growing up to witness my parent’s own Love Affair. Start to study successful partnerships and look for what you want in your Love Affair- don’t focus on what you don’t want. Start looking for couples to admire and learn from.
Step 6: Decide

Make the choice right now. Decide that you are ready, willing and available for your Love Affair.

Allow yourself to really “feel” what it feels like to be deeply loved and connected. Meditate on it. Curl up at night in bed for a few moments and notice the feelings of what it will be like to have your Love Affair. What will it look like, smell like, and feel like? What will you be telling yourself? Remember the unconscious mind doesn’t recognise the difference between what has really happened and what is made up- that is what the Law of Attraction is based on!

Know with every part of your being that the one that you are longing for is on the way to you right now. Be open to meeting and dating. Take the first steps and begin preparing your new life to include him in it! When you have cleared the clutter from your heart and mind, get over your reservations about being single and enquire about our exclusive Dinners with a Difference. If you don’t feel ready for that (yet!) give us a call at Life by Creation for some one of one relationship coaching! We only have one life!

What did you learn?