Ok now I’ve got your attention it’s not literally my last post because that would be like cutting off my air supply. However it will be my last post that is negative, not nice or comes from a not so nice place (except if I review a crap bra). Let me tell you a story….
This year has been amazing to me it has brought me so much growth on so many levels. I have been able to role out everything I had planned too from my programs over at Bra Queen I now have a variety of eLearning programs available, my book AGENTS OF ACTION has gone into pre launch and is going extremely well (this is something that I am very proud of) I will be soon launching my Love Your Life 8 week challenge which is going to be a great way to kick start 2011. So many amazing things have happened in 2010 and some not so amazing things.
Personally it has been a roll coaster for me this year and I have come to realise that I have to make some changes if I am going to move forward in the direction I want to go which is to live a prosperous life. I have known for a while now that I need to re look at who I am surrounding myself with but sometimes easier said then done right? A little while ago I took an oath and it really gave me clarity but it’s time to take it one step further. Because things have been spiralling out of control and I am exhausted. You see I have a confession to make…. I don’t particularly like parenting all day everyday it’s really not my thing and it’s something that I sometimes struggle with. Here’s what I hate about parenting
- I hate the fact that it’s just expected that women have to give up their life that they know and be OK with it.
- That husbands or partners can resume their life as normal.
- The ridiculous amounts of washing and ironing you have to do and pick up off the floor.
- Every morning you have to spend about half an hour just cleaning up crap that isn’t yours.
- That literally at least every 5 minutes someone is screaming at you to make something, get something or do something and they feel they can’t ask in a normal manner you must scream.
- That it can take 1 hour just to buy bread
- Whenever you have a BBQ or go to one I hate the fact the men get to sit outside drinking and the women are inside running around after the kids and organising food and it seems to be OK with everyone else expect me?
- If ever I voice something about the joys of parenting someone will say “What? What’s wrong with it it’s not that bad” coming from a person that is at work 5 days so in my opinion is unable to say anything until they have walked in my shoes.
- When I say “Why did we have children” I get “HAHA” really you think it’s funny I don’t really see the funny side.
- The people who you think should see or notice that you’re spiralling out of control don’t actually have any idea until you have.
- Then you’re constantly having to remain level headed and discipline your children and I don’t want to be that person but I do however want to raise children with good ethics, manners, kindness and a bunch of other things so I have too even if I do feel like a nag and I get sick of hearing my own voice.
- It’s just assumed that Mothers will make the lunches, prepare kinder bags, swimming bags, going out bags and whatever else we have to do.
You see I am a great Mum and I love my girls to pieces and it’s important to me that I love life everyday so what how am I going to change these feelings.
My thoughts: I am going to listen to every thought that enters my head literally, sounds crazy but I have to do it because it is only a thought and thoughts can be change therefore the outcome will change when I take action there will be a reaction.
I heard someone say this week “If you’ve spent your whole life being told your shit then you’re always going to feel, be shit, you can’t change that and it doesn’t affect your business”
What the? You’ve got to be kidding me…clearly she doesn’t know me and my past. Imagine I’d be in jail, in a padded room or dead. I’ve never heard anything more ridiculous in my life and of course it affects your business it affect everything you do in life. If she had seen me 15 years ago I don’t think she would still have the same opinion…..actually she probably would because she’s so stubborn. Of course you can change IF YOU ARE PREPARED TO DO THE WORK THAT IS REQUIRED and just like all of those years ago I am ready to go through the process and do what is required.
I will be looking deep inside myself and being honest with myself and asking myself same questions then I will resolve them and move forward. So stay tuned because I will be sharing how I am doing this and giving you your call to actions so you can do it as well, it may not be in the same area but I bet there is one area in your life your not happy with, question is are you prepared to do what is required?
To begin listen to your thoughts what are you saying to yourself, is it positive or negative? From hear on in I hereby announce there will be no more ranting or venting…. I surrender to healing, choice and freedom.
Love you, babe!
I do really, honestly wonder about those that think parenting is awesome all the time. I’m sure there are a few out there, the rest I worry that they’re stuffng emotions down.
I think its incredibly awesome to be honest. You’ve just given me a bazillion other ideas, just in this post alone.
Looking forward to your Love Your Life Challenge – if I can help in anyway, let me know 🙂
And GO YOU! You rock.
xox
Loved this, Renee! I am going through exactly the same thing… struggling with what I want to do with my life. I love my boys but I need a life too and Mr doesn’t see that. He says it is MY job to look after the boys, do the housework and gardening. His sees my work as a little ‘hobby’ and has told me that the house and kids come first…. erm helllooo aren’t I allowed a life? Obviously not!
It has been a bone of contention in this house for a while now and I can’t see it changing anytime soon.
Hope 2011 is a lot better for you!! x
Love your post Renee
xx
Thanks Elisa xxx
Hey there,
I have a puppy who is 3 years old and there is most likely not too much difference between her antics and children well probably there are but she makes mess; demands to be driven places and wants to eat when she wants to eat.
My favorite most annoying person died this year and whilst difficult it has been exhilarating to stop and think and think and think and muse and then act.
This is very important Renee make sure you fully listen to yourself and the pain is worth it = empowerment and changing mindset.
Thank you Michelle and I am sorry for your loss. It’s nice to reflect isn’t it 🙂
Rx
Ditto, Renee. Couldn’t agree more. Yes, it is possible to love your children and hate parenting them.
And yes, I hate the fact that as women we are expected to do the lot. I resented it a lot more when I was married, even when my ex did carry some of load. As a single mum, there is noone else and, as hard as that is, that’s ok. That’s the reality. I no longer resent having to do it all, well not much, because there is no other option.
I am lucky that I have found a bunch of women online who feel like I do. Love their kids to bits, but don’t appreciate being the one that does all the work of parenting and housekeeping. Our non-parent, non-house related work is just as important.
My challenge is to follow my heart into a prosperous life. But it seems impossible with the time left to me in between paid work, parenting and housework.
Good luck with your plans, Renee!
It’s hard to juggle everything isn’t Dorothy, the way I look at it is as long as we are doing one small thing everyday that can take us to where we want to go then that’s the main thing. You’re doing a great job xxx
Oh Renee…..such a heartfelt post and one that so easily could have been written by me.
I love my 4 boys more than anything – but I too resent the fact that I am expected to do everything around the house that is required to keep it operational.
I feel like my dreams have been pushed to the backburner so I can attend to all of the boring menial everyday tasks which enables everyone else in my house to go forth into the world and live their dreams.
I feel like my family consumes me and my life has become about the small stuff – washing, ironing, houswork, groceries, cooking…the list is endless. I have to fit in my stuff in the little time left over after attending to everyone elses needs and often there is no time left and another day goes by.
The frustating part is that no one in my house contributes and helps willingly ar even sees that there are things and tasks that need to be done….everyday. I have to nag, pester, and yell just to get any help at all. Sometimes it is easier to just do it myself to avoid the confrontation.
And so I am left with the voice in my head chastising them and ranting angrily.
The challenge is – how can we change it? I would welcome any suggestions.
Great post Renee. Keep it up. Perhaps as women sharing together we can find the solution.
Oh Kara I love this comment “I feel like my dreams have been pushed to the backburner so I can attend to all of the boring menial everyday tasks which enables everyone else in my house to go forth into the world and live their dreams.”
SO TRUE and it’s just suppose to be OK…..yeah right. I wasn’t sure as to whether to even publish this post but boy am I glad a did. There is a way there has to be a way and I would love to brainstorm.
Rx