A guest post by the awe inspiring, incredibly wise Anne Aleckson in direct response to the recent Confessions Of A Woman
I’m a thinker, well if I’m being honest and I hope to be at all times, I would tell you that I’m an over-thinker.
When something has gone wrong in my life, I think it to death and then I work over it like a worm feasting on the remains left to rot in the cold, damp earth. I work through what I perceive as having happened and then I think more about how it could have been different and then I think about how I could have thought about it differently when it was happening and well…I just think and think and think.
There is also another element to my thinking that has been part of my life for the past few years. It is the part of me that is connected to All That Is and that allows me to tap into the collective consciousness or what some call the universal intelligence, in other words, the part of me that is very wise and knows things for no apparent reason.
The point of this post is to share my thinking about my romantic relationships, there have only been 2 or 3 of any great significance…the first my marriage which resulted in divorce and shared parenting of a small child, another more recent partnership where I loved so deeply I thought I would never love like that again.
The result of these relationships is, of course, that I have thought many thoughts about what went wrong, about whose fault it was, about what I could have done to ‘save’ them and all the other thoughts we think at these times. There has been my fair share of blaming and judging and hurting the other as well.
I have done a lot of emotional healing around relationships and my own levels of love for self.
Quiet contemplations and conversations when I am in a place of connectedness show me another perspective and these are the thoughts I wish to share with you today.
When I wait for my partner to open the door and walk in with a spark of love showing in his eyes, I will only see the spark if I am standing in unconditional love for myself. The spark in his eyes is only a reflection of the spark in mine and if I can’t see it in his eye then perhaps I need to do the work to bring it back into my eye before I will see it in his.
Here’s the thing about that last statement – we fall in love with each other, we commit to love each other forever and we start living life together.
How many conditions have I placed on you in order for you to prove yourself worthy of receiving my love.
Again, if I’m completely honest, the answer to that is all manner of things, I might expect you to never disagree with me, to never raise your voice at me, to pay for certain things, to provide a certain level of living and there are more.
I won’t tell you those expectations though. What I will do is tell you that I will never stop loving you and then we will happily start living a life together.
One day, perhaps soon after or maybe in 10 years, you will be having a hard time at work and you will yell at me for spending too much money on myself.
I will get very upset and in that moment, I will decide that what you really mean is that I am bad, unlovable and wrong. Of course I won’t know that I’ve decided this because I’m doing it unconsciously.
I’ll then take that on board and decide unconsciously that you are right and I’ll find all the evidence throughout my childhood to remind me of this ‘truth’.
The next time I see you, I will look into your eyes, hoping to see your love for me there and never realizing that the love I’ve always seen there was just a reflection of how I loved myself.
The spark of love won’t be there. I will see that you don’t love me. I will feel bad and remember that I’m unlovable and the circle will go round and round.
You of course, will be doing exactly the same thing. You miss the spark in my eye, you feel you have disappointed me when the pay rise you expected didn’t eventuate or when the baby we longed for didn’t show up or…well there are so many things aren’t there, when we are busy getting on with living and staying unconscious.
One of us will have to be brave enough and strong enough to bring the spark back to our eye, so that when you look at me I see the spark. Eventually you will see it in my eye also and we will both remember our love.
One of use has to be brave enough and one of us has to start.
Since I’m the one who knows this then I am also the one who has to choose to start until I wake up enough to gently awaken you.
Meet the gorgeous girl!
Anne Aleckson is a transformational writer, speaker and healer and she knows that if you are not living the life you want to be living, you have energetic blocks. Anne works with you to ‘see’ and dissolve the energetic blocks in your vibrational frequency so you can experience your success, abundance and happiness.