Tuesday, June 27th, 2017

Somedays I Resent My Children….

4

Some days I find parenting too hard and often think how much easier my life would be without them,

Some days I resent that fact that my life revolves around them,

Some days it eats me up inside that my whole world changed the day I had them,

Some days I resent the fact the I had to give up everything I knew and it is just expected,

Some days I hate that I am the core of my family,

Some days I dislike that I have to always think about what to cook and if they have clean clothes,

Some days I wonder how I actually got here….

Some days I wonder if I am the only person who has these thoughts, these feelings,

Some days I hate the sound of my own voice because it feels like it’s on repeat,

Some days I wish I was the woman who loves caring for her family and doting on everyone….do woman actually enjoy that? It feels so foreign to me.

Some days I wish I could leave the house in mess, the dishes in the sink and not make beds but I couldn’t breathe and couldn’t think straight.

Some days on these days I need to be slapped in the face with a cold fish.

On these days my thoughts run away and it can be long time before any sense of presence is restored. Thinking gets you into terrible every time! There is no growth, no happiness when you’re in this space so you need to get out. To have this kind of thought process is dangerous because you’re thinking in the past not the present, not the reality of what is….

To find your peace you must see your life, your family, your spouse, your job, your business, your everything but most importantly yourself with unconditional, non judgemental love. Love what is…

Love that you are a clean freak who likes everything in place OR love that who are slightly disorganised and forgot to do the dishes kind of person.
Love that you are able to do everything you need to do in the time you have because that is freedom.
Love that you love looking after your family OR love that you don’t and delegate.
If your voice is on repeat try using different voices THAT will get the little shits cherubs attention!
Know that everyone has these feelings or similar and if they don’t admit it they are lying, even the ones who are hands on and family orientated.
Love that you are the core of your family because WOW not everyone can do it so well.
How did I get here? Doesn’t matter now you’re here deal with it and make the most of it…you can’t put the little shits cherubs back and besides when you think about it they actually enhance our lives and make us better people.

Love that you are surrounded by people who love and adore you and you love and adore them, live in that space and have the freedom to be….

Comments

4 Responses to “Somedays I Resent My Children….”
  1. Toushka Lee says:

    very true. I could have written this list word for word.
    I have recently come through a dark cloud of resentment because I am in India and it seemed the kids were holding me back from seeing and doing so much. I travelled really well as a single independent child free woman. Now as a mum and wife, travelling is a bitch. But, I came through the resentment and am loving being with them. I don’t need to see a temple or ride an elephant today.

    • bustingout says:

      Hey Toushka!
      I’ve been wondering how you are, I am so glad you are back on track and enjoying your kids. It must have been a tough time for all of you adjusting to the new environment.

      I think its nice to know that we aren’t alone in these times because we all have these feelings yet we feel like the worst person on earth when we do.

      Rx

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